


take a little bit (of my heart)

by bezziemates



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, and some jealous kara, basically there's pining, but mostly fluff everywhere, idk where this came from
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-26 00:12:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16208612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bezziemates/pseuds/bezziemates
Summary: Kara isn’t jealous.She doesn’t get jealous. She’s not jealous. Just because Lena is talking and laughing with some random insufferable, insanely attractive person that Kara has never once spoken to in her life, doesn’t mean she’s jealous.Or, Kara pining after Lena, then befriending her, then falling in love with her, then taking a while to realize that Lena loves her back.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i had this bout of inspiration today, then proceeded to keysmash this. that's all i had to say.
> 
> anyway, as always, hope it doesn't suck, sorry for any mistakes and i hope you enjoy

Kara isn’t jealous.

She doesn’t get jealous. She’s not jealous. Just because Lena is talking and laughing with some random insufferable, insanely attractive person that Kara has never once spoken to in her life, doesn’t mean she’s jealous.

There’s nothing wrong with Lena talking to people. Kara hasn’t even spoken to her before, so really, she doesn’t have any right to be jealous. And she’s not.

Okay, fine, she’s jealous.

But can anyone really blame her? She wants to talk to Lena, but she can’t work up the courage to, and Kara’s been pining after her for maybe two years, four months and twenty-two days—not that she's counting—since they locked eyes for a split second on the first day of their freshman year.

It’s a lucky coincidence that Kara always ends up sharing classes with Lena. But it’s also unlucky, because that means she just sits around and pines after her, staring at her all day while people just go up to Lena and talk to her like they’ve been friends for years even though Kara is positive that that’s their first time talking to Lena. It’s just a hunch, of course. She doesn’t know this because she’s been staring at Lena every chance she gets for the past two years, four months and twenty-two days. Nothing like that.

It’s not like she _wants_ to stare. She just does. Lena is a very attractive person, and Kara doesn’t simply choose to spend her days daydreaming about her. It’s involuntary.

She doesn’t even know anything about Lena. She only knows the minutiae, basically what she’s found out about her over the years. But she’s never spoken to Lena, and she can’t bring herself to go up to her. It’s something of a faraway dream. Lena is so charismatic and magnetic without trying, and Kara has been drawn to her since day one. But Kara just can’t say anything to her. Or even go near her.

What she can do, though, is glare at anyone who talks to Lena.

Again, it’s involuntary. Kara is jealous. Albeit irrationally jealous, but jealous nonetheless. And every time she sees someone talking to Lena, she gets jealous because of her annoyance with herself—her annoyance at the fact that she can’t muster the courage to say a single word to Lena, while others can do it, for some reason.

So, she just glares from afar. Doesn’t do anything, because she is her own undoing. If she can’t work up the courage to talk to Lena, then that’s her own fault.

But the glaring is somewhat therapeutic, so she settles for that.

She’s been settling for that for two years, four months and twenty-two days, anyway.

//

People really are drawn to Lena like moths to a flame.

It’s not just Kara. Every day, Kara sees someone new come to talk to Lena. And she’s about a hundred and one percent sure that Lena has never spoken to them before.

Yet, Lena welcomes them graciously. A little reserved, from what Kara can see, but she’s kind, and she talks to the people who want to talk to her. Kara still can’t talk to her, though, so she just stares, and stares.

Kara clearly needs to get a life.

//

She doesn’t get a life, per se. But what she does get is a job.

It’s a simple job in the on-campus coffee shop, and it’s a good way to pass her time. Now, she spends less of her day thinking solely about Lena. Granted, Lena is still there, but in the back of her mind while she makes coffee and does her job.

What she didn’t previously consider, however, is the possibility of Lena being a regular in said coffee shop.

She realizes now that it makes sense. Lena is known to be one of the smartest people in NCU, so it’s only natural that she needs coffee to keep her awake when she studies, or something along those lines.

Anyway, Lena walks in on Kara’s second day working in the coffee shop.

And Kara’s just mopping up the counter when she feels the presence of a customer at the register, so she speaks without looking up. “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Then she looks up, and the realization that the customer is Lena dawns on her, like a bucket of iced water poured over her head. She nearly trips and falls on the spot, which she didn’t know was possible until today, while Lena seems to be concerned about the red patches that Kara _knows_ are appearing on her cheeks, and how flustered she probably appears.

“Are you alright?” Lena asks, and Kara can hear her heartbeat in her own ears. She’s never heard Lena’s voice up close, and it’s beautiful. She’s on the brink of physical combustion.

“Peachy,” Kara replies, to which she internally grimaces. _Who says ‘peachy’ anymore? Jesus._

“Well, I’ll have a black coffee,” Lena says, clearly noting Kara’s embarrassment. She doesn’t say anything about it, though, and Kara just keeps her eyes on the register in front of her, instead of the bright green hue of Lena’s eyes.

“Anything else?” Kara manages to ask, hand shaking as she taps Lena’s order into the system.

Lena shakes her head, a small smile on her face. “Thank you, Kara.”

Kara doesn’t say anything else. She knows that if she opens her mouth, she’d say something stupid or start rambling or both, so she keeps her mouth shut, and goes to prepare Lena’s coffee instead.

It’s only once Lena leaves, once Kara’s mind is clearer, that she realizes Lena knows her name.

She doesn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.

//

The next day, Lena comes in again.

Kara is slightly more mentally prepared this time, so it’s not as bad. When Lena walks up to the counter, Kara is ready to take her order. Lena greets her with a small smile.

“Hi, I’ll have a black coffee,” she says, the same order as yesterday, and Kara enters it into the system.

After a few moments, Kara decides to screw it and just ask. “Hey, this may be a weird question, but… how do you know my name?”

Lena blinks at her, then tilts her head slightly. “We’ve shared classes since freshman year.”

Kara nods, a little more exaggeratedly than she should, and bites her lip. “Right. Right. I just…” she trails off, then ducks her head, cheeks flushing. “Nevermind, forget I said anything.”

Lena’s brows furrow, and she reaches out for a moment, then hesitates, almost like she suddenly remembers that they aren't friends. Her hand drops, but instead of it returning to her side, it falls lightly onto the counter. "Hey, no, you can say what you want to say.”

“I just, um,” Kara fumbles over her words, then brings a hand up to adjust her glasses on instinct. “I didn’t think you knew who I was.”

Lena smiles a little, then shrugs. “I’ve seen you around. I know who you are.”

“Well, okay then,” Kara says, still reeling from the fact that _Lena Luthor knows who she is._ “Um, I’ll get to preparing that coffee now.”

“Don’t I need to pay first?” Lena asks, looking a little amused.

“Right. Right.”

Kara doesn’t stop thinking about Lena’s responding laugh for the rest of the day.

//

It goes on like that for a few weeks.

And Kara finds herself getting more comfortable around Lena. She doesn’t fumble over her words as much, and they talk about classes as Kara keys in Lena’s order—black coffee, every time—amongst other things that may seem like small talk, but when talking to Lena, nothing feels like small talk.

When Kara finishes her shift on a Friday, Lena is still in the coffee shop, reading a book. From the time that Lena came in until now, Kara has been hyper-aware of her presence, and it’s proven to be quite the distraction, because it makes it difficult for Kara to concentrate on her job, but she’s not complaining.

Lena is truly the most stunning person Kara’s ever seen.

And just as Kara is mopping up the counter and taking off her apron, Lena smiles at her tentatively from her table, and Kara’s heart flutters.

“Do you want to sit for a while?” Lena asks, her table close enough to the counter for Kara to hear her.

Kara nearly trips over her own feet as she walks over to Lena’s table, taking a seat in the only empty chair.

“What are you reading?” Kara asks.

Lena raises the book for Kara to take a look at the cover. _To Kill A Mockingbird._ “It was my father’s favourite book,” Lena says, smiling nostalgically.

After a moment, Kara smiles. “Thank you.”

“For…?” Lena questions.

“For sharing that with me.”

Lena smiles. “Thank you for letting me trust you with it.” Before Kara can even think of a response to that, Lena continues, “What’s your favourite book?”

Kara rubs the back of her neck, cheeks heating up. A sheepish smile makes its way onto her face. “I can’t finish books for the life of me. I usually just watch movies.”

Lena laughs, and it’s music to Kara’s ears. “Well then, we should watch a movie together sometime.”

Kara doesn’t know how Lena does it. How she’s so charming without even trying.

And she can feel herself liking Lena more and more every day.

//

Weeks of working in the coffee shop turn into months, and soon enough, Lena is doing homework in Kara’s dorm, while they sit in a comfortable silence.

“Do you want to know something?” Lena asks, smiling over at Kara.

Kara hums in response.

“I thought you hated me for two and a half years.”

Kara blinks, putting her textbook down. “Why?”

Lena shrugs. “It always seemed like you were glaring at me. I thought you didn’t like me. Even when I first spoke to you, I was afraid that you hated me.”

Kara doesn’t know what to say, so she laughs. It’s a little strained, because she can’t wrap her head around the fact that Lena thought she hated her, when in truth, Kara was glaring at whoever was talking to Lena, because she liked Lena.

And it’s odd, because now she’s in love with Lena, and they’re best friends, and they have movie nights, and Lena’s become a part of Kara’s circle of friends. She thinks they’ve really come a long way.

She doesn’t glare at the people who talk to Lena anymore. She just smiles at Lena when she catches her eye, while strangers make small talk with Lena in an attempt to befriend her.

When she sees Lena smiling and laughing with someone who is clearly attractive, her heart clenches, but there really isn't much else to it. She gets this tightness in her chest, and a thought that Lena may never see her as anything but a friend, but she never makes a big deal about it.

And she knows that she can’t risk her friendship with Lena, so she doesn’t say anything. Just keeps silent, and tries to convince herself that she’s happy and content with Lena’s friendship. That she doesn’t spend every second of every day wanting more.

“Oh,” Kara says, forcing a smile. “Well, I never hated you, trust me on that.”

Lena grins. “I know that now.”

There’s a moment of silence, then Lena speaks again.

“Was I imagining you glaring at me, then?” she asks teasingly.

Kara forces a laugh. “Probably.”

Lena knows her well enough by now to know when she’s lying. And she knows Lena well enough to know that Lena knows she’s lying. But no one says anything, and they continue with their work.

Something in the air has shifted, and it feels like the beginning of something, but Kara can’t place it.

//

Eventually, Kara places it.

Lena is trying to find out the truth behind Kara’s glares prior to their friendship. And Kara can tell in the way that Lena brings it up every now and then, just casually or as a joke.

But Kara can’t bring herself to confess her feelings, so she just laughs it off and doesn’t do or say anything else, because Lena never pries.

Until one day, they’re in Kara’s dorm again, and Lena brings it up once more.

“Kara?"

Kara looks over at Lena at the sound of her name. “Yeah?”

“I just… I want to know,” Lena says, frowning a little. “Was I really imagining you glaring at me? I really don’t think I was, and I can’t get it out of my head. I’m sorry.”

Kara frowns a little in response, mirroring Lena's expression. “Hey, you don’t have to be sorry for speaking your mind. You can tell me anything, always.” Heart hammering, she leans forward and places a hand atop Lena’s.

“Then can you explain it to me?”

Kara sighs, running a hand through her hair. “I…”

“Kara, you can tell me anything, too, you know.”

Kara nods. “I know.”

She knows. Lena is so kind and so patient and so caring. She’s trustworthy and attentive and everything Kara thought she’d be, and then some more. But Kara doesn’t want to risk their friendship. She knows that coming forward and admitting her feelings will change everything, and that’s the scariest thought she’s ever had.

“So?”

“Can we talk about this later? Give me half an hour,” Kara says instead. Half an hour should be enough to work up the courage, right?

Lena’s brow furrows. “You don’t have to say anything you feel uncomfortable saying.”

Kara smiles a little. “I know. But I want to. Half an hour, okay?”

Lena studies her for a moment, eyes flickering over her face, then nods. “Okay.”

//

It’s not half an hour.

Kara takes two hours, actually, to come up with something.

At the half-hour mark, Lena only glances at her, but doesn’t say anything. And when Kara doesn’t say anything either, Lena goes back to her work, ever the understanding one, and Kara goes back to having her internal freak-out.

And after two hours, Lena still hasn’t pried, and Kara has come to a simple conclusion that Lena is quite possibly, no, definitely the best thing that has ever happened to her, and she’ll be damned if she doesn’t take this chance while she can.

“So I may have taken four times the amount of time,” Kara starts.

Lena smiles easily at her, warm and adoring, and Kara’s heart is pounding, but she’s never been more sure of anything in her life. “Take as much time as you need, Kara. I’ll always be here for you.”

“I wasn’t glaring at you,” Kara says, biting her lip. She chances a glance at Lena—who is staring curiously at her—then looks away. She can’t meet Lena’s eyes. Her heart is already hammering in her chest.

Lena doesn’t say anything. Just waits patiently. God, Kara loves her.

“I was glaring at the person talking to you.”

There’s this moment of silence. It’s quite long, but not as long as Kara expects it to be. Then Lena speaks. “Okay.”

“Because I was jealous. Because for two years, four months and twenty-two days, I wanted to talk to you. Since I first saw you on the first day of freshman year. But I could never work up the courage to go up to you, so I just looked from afar. And people were always going up to you and talking to you, and I was jealous that I couldn’t muster the courage to do the same.” She can feel Lena’s eyes boring into her, but she can’t meet them.

“Okay.” Lena clearly knows Kara has more to say. She knows Kara better than anyone, except maybe Alex. She knows Kara as well as Alex does. And it gets to Kara, every time.

“And the only reason you and I are friends right now is because I had to take your order every day, and you actually talked to me. I wasn’t glaring at you. I didn’t hate you. I hated myself because I liked you but never did anything about it.”

Then Lena’s hand is on her jaw, turning her head to meet warm green eyes, and Kara’s heart is going into overdrive, but here with Lena, she feels safer than she’s ever felt. 

“But you’re doing something about it now, aren’t you?”

“There is some form of attempt, yes,” Kara says, nodding.

Lena laughs softly, stroking the junction where Kara’s ear meets her jawline. “So you didn’t hate me?”

“The opposite, actually,” Kara replies, licking her lips. Lena is looking at her with an intensity that’s driving her crazy. “And since we’re laying everything on the table, I’m also in love with you, so there’s that.”

“Are we laying everything on the table?”

“I’m laying everything on the table.”

Lena smiles. “I’ll do the same then.” She moves closer, and it’s slow, and Kara can’t breathe. Then Lena’s face is barely an inch from hers, and Kara can see the blue and green specks in her eyes, count each and every one of them, and it’s the most beautiful thing Kara has ever seen in her life. “I love you too.”

There’s a feather-light kiss placed on Kara’s lips, but this moment is too perfect and Kara has been waiting two years, eleven months and sixteen days for this, so she pulls Lena back in by the nape of her neck, and sighs into the kiss.

Lena kisses her back fervently, soft and loving, and Kara melts.

//

Kara isn’t jealous.

She doesn’t get jealous. Not anymore, at least, because Lena has never showed more devotion to anyone or anything more than she has to Kara. Kara is just as devoted to her, and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to her, hands down.

And when Kara sees Lena talking to someone attractive, she smiles at Lena when they lock eyes, and Lena beckons her over to introduce her as her girlfriend.

It’s odd, because three years, seven months and twenty-four days ago, Kara would have never expected her life to turn out this way. She had never thought that Lena would be anything more than a faraway dream.

But Lena is here, kissing Kara good morning and good night, going through even the most mundane of activities with Kara, being with and supporting Kara in every possible way. And she’s become such a permanence in Kara’s life that Kara no longer remembers what life was like without Lena in it.

Because Lena is it for Kara, and Kara's known that for three years, seven months and twenty-four days.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is basically lena's pov of the whole thing. someone requested it and i thought it'd be fun to write, so i did.
> 
> just like everything else that i write, this is keysmashed. so, sorry for any mistakes. and i hope this doesn't suck. enjoy.

Lena is positive that Kara hates her. Positive.

It’s justified, if she goes by all the glares Kara gives her, every day.

Something draws Lena to Kara. And because Lena just can’t ever initiate conversation without being an awkward potato, she just doesn’t do anything. That, combined with the fact that Kara spends her days glaring at her, just discourages Lena from doing anything about this temptation she has to go up to Kara and talk to her.

And so, for two and a half years, Lena just feels Kara’s glare burn into the side of her head, but never meets her gaze, because she has no idea why Kara hates her, and it just makes her feel sad.

Kara seems like an amazing person. She’s cheerful all the time, and sometimes Lena spots her around with her friends, talking and laughing. Even from afar, Lena can see Kara’s eyes light up as she chats with her friends, and Kara always appears to be the life of the party. When she’s talking, she commands everyone’s attention without even trying.

But before Lena can even begin to try to muster up the courage to go up to Kara, some random person that she doesn’t even know will approach her and start a conversation. To this day, Lena still doesn’t know why people keep coming up to her.

So she just pushes the thought of Kara away, and tries not to think about it anymore.

Needless to say, her mind keeps coming back to Kara.

//

When Lena walks into the on-campus coffee shop on a random Tuesday, she’s surprised to see Kara behind the register, mopping up the counter.

Her heart skips a small beat as she approaches, because she can’t help wondering if Kara really hates her, and maybe this whole thing will blow up in her face. Maybe Kara will refuse to take her order, and call someone else to do it. If that happens, Lena is sure she won’t be in the mood for coffee anymore.

But she squares her shoulders, and walks up to the counter anyway.

“Hi, what can I get for you?” Kara asks, not looking up at her. Then she puts the cloth away, and when her eyes meet Lena’s, she seems to lose her balance for a moment.

And Lena wonders if Kara really hates her that much, to the point where she can’t even stand to see her face.

“Are you alright?” Lena asks, concerned. Kara isn’t glaring at her now that they’re facing each other, so it’s a good sign. Maybe she’s just been imagining the glares this whole time. But she also distinctly remembers the feeling of Kara’s glare on her head, and Kara’s eyes on her in her peripheral vision.

“Peachy,” Kara replies, and Lena bites back a smile at the odd choice of word. It seems a lot like something Kara would say, even though Lena’s never had an actual conversation with her before.

“Well, I’ll have a black coffee,” Lena says, giving Kara a small, tentative smile, and Kara nods in reply, entering her order into the system. It’s weird, because this isn’t how Lena would expect someone who hates her to interact with her.

“Anything else?” Kara asks, voice a little strained, and okay, maybe she does hate Lena. It’s almost like she wants to get out of this conversation as soon as possible.

Lena shakes her head, smile even more tentative now, but she figures that not smiling would be worse, and Kara’s eyes are so blue, and her cheeks are slightly flushed for some reason, and Lena just wants to look at her all day. “Thank you, Kara.”

Kara doesn’t say anything, she just smiles a little, then gets to preparing Lena’s coffee, and when Lena walks out of the coffee shop, she wonders if Kara actually hates her or not.

Maybe she doesn’t. Maybe she and Lena can actually be friends.

//

The next day, Lena walks into the coffee shop again, as she does every day, to see Kara standing at the register once more.

“Hi, I’ll have a black coffee,” Lena says when she reaches the counter, and there’s silence between them as Kara nods and enters her order into the system. The only sound Lena hears is the buzzing of the coffee machines, and the faint chatter in the coffee shop.

Suddenly, Kara speaks, eyes as blue as ever, and Lena can’t even bring herself to look away. “Hey, this may be a weird question, but… how do you know my name?”

Lena blinks and thinks back to the day before, when she addressed Kara by her name, and realizes that Kara had never actually introduced herself. But then again, they’ve been sharing classes since they first came to NCU, so it’s only natural for Lena to know Kara’s name.

“We’ve shared classes since freshman year,” she replies, hoping that Kara buys it.

And there’s an element of truth to it, because the fact that they share many classes has inevitably resulted in Lena finding out Kara’s name. But she’s also more drawn to Kara than she is to anyone else, so she focuses more on Kara, and the small things about her that she finds out over the years. But she can’t say that, so she just says the simple explanation instead.

Kara nods, rather exaggeratedly, and Lena suppresses a laugh at the sight, because Kara is honestly the most adorable person Lena has ever met, hands down. Then her teeth sink into her bottom lip, and Lena’s heart skitters.

“Right. Right,” Kara says, still nodding. “I just…” she trails off, then ducks her head, keeping her eyes on the register. Small patches of pink appear on her cheeks, and she’s clearly embarrassed. “Nevermind, forget I said anything.”

Lena frowns and reaches out on instinct to touch Kara, almost like an act of comfort, before she realizes that she and Kara aren’t friends, and there’s still a possibility that Kara hates her, and if Lena is trying to build a friendship with her, she needs to know boundaries. “Hey, no, you can say what you want to say,” she replies instead, and watches as Kara looks back up at her.

“I just, um,” Kara says, one hand coming up to adjust her glasses, and Lena smiles a little at the act. “I didn’t think you knew who I was.”

Lena shrugs, small smile still on her face. “I’ve seen you around. I know who you are.” Of course she knows who Kara is. Not only has she ‘seen Kara around’, she’s also gone out of her way to spot Kara in a crowd. And every time she attends a class that they share, she always looks out for Kara.

“Well, okay then,” Kara says, lips quirking cutely. “Um, I’ll get to preparing that coffee now.” She gestures over her shoulder.

“Don’t I need to pay first?” Lena asks, trying not to grin too widely, and holy shit, Kara is beyond cute.

“Right. Right.” Kara nods exaggeratedly again, and Lena just laughs.

How can anyone _not_ like Kara?

//

For the next few weeks, Lena keeps coming back to the coffee shop. And she finds that not only does she go for her daily dose of caffeine, she also goes to see Kara’s face.

There’s some sort of a budding friendship. She can feel Kara becoming more comfortable around her, even if it’s only a little bit, and Lena feels more comfortable around Kara as well. She starts to think that maybe, just maybe, Kara doesn’t actually hate her.

On a Friday, Lena brings a book with her to the coffee shop. Not only does she get a nice, cozy atmosphere to read in, she also gets to sit down and watch Kara work, cheerfully greeting customers all day.

And when Kara finishes her shift, Lena taps a beat on her thigh, contemplating on whether or not she should call out to her. But before she can lose this bout of courage, she opens her mouth and speaks, “Do you want to sit for a while?”

Kara’s gaze finds hers from behind the counter, and she looks a little shocked at the request, but nods slightly, smiling, and walks over after taking off her apron. She almost trips on the way, and sits down with her cheeks a little flushed.

It’s a wonder that Kara has her own charm, without even trying.

“What are you reading?” Kara asks, pointing to the book in Lena’s hands.

Lena raises the book— _T_ _o Kill A Mockingbird_ —and shows Kara the cover. “It was my father’s favorite book,” she finds herself saying, and smiles, head ducking.

After a moment, Kara speaks, “Thank you.” And Lena looks up at her at that, only to see Kara’s smile. Her eyes are sparkling a little, and there’s a sincerity in her expression that sends a warmth blooming through Lena’s chest.

“For…?” Lena asks curiously.

“For sharing that with me,” Kara replies simply, and Lena finds that she wants to get to know Kara better more and more every day. The way she’s grateful even for the smallest of things, the way her eyes are a window into her innermost feelings, and the way she accepts people without judging them.

So Lena smiles gratefully. “Thank you for letting me trust you with it.” Then a question pops into her head, and she says it without thinking, “What’s your favourite book?”

Kara’s hand comes up to rub the back of her neck. Her cheeks flush, and she wears a sheepish smile on her face. Lena wants to take a picture and capture the sight. “I can’t finish books for the life of me. I usually just watch movies.”

And Lena’s mouth is working faster than her brain now, so she laughs and speaks impulsively, “Well then, we should watch a movie together sometime.”

She almost regrets what she says, almost takes it back, but then Kara smiles even wider and nods, and Lena feels herself beaming in return.

//

The more time Lena spends with Kara, the more she finds that it’s easy to talk to her. It’s easy to be friends with Kara in general.

And time passes quickly when she spends it with Kara. Before she knows it, they’ve been friends for close to six months, and Lena’s doing homework in Kara’s dorm.

She’s thinking about how they’ve become such good friends, when the few years before their friendship were spent thinking that Kara hated her. She smiles at the memory, then realizes that she can ask Kara about it now. Because now they’re pretty much best friends, and she’s never stopped being curious about it.

“Do you want to know something?” she asks.

Kara hums in response.

“I thought you hated me for two and a half years,” Lena admits, and at that, Kara blinks, putting down her textbook and looking over at Lena.

“Why?” Kara asks, and it’s odd, because Lena had thought that Kara would be on the same page with her about this. Kara should know that she was glaring at Lena, since she was the one doing the glaring to begin with.

Lena shrugs. “It always seemed that you were glaring at me. I thought you didn’t like me. Even when I first spoke to you, I was afraid that you hated me.”

Kara lets out a strained laugh at that, and she tries to hide the realization that dawns on her when she understands what Lena is talking about, but Lena sees it anyway. They’ve spent a lot of time together in the past six or so months, and Lena can read Kara a lot better now.

She watches as a series of emotions flash across Kara’s face, but they come and go too quickly for Lena to discern them.

Then Kara looks at her. “Oh,” she says, then a forced smile forms on her face. “Well, I never hated you, trust me on that.”

And of course, Lena trusts Kara. She trust Kara more than she’s ever trusted anyone. But she also remembers the glares clear as day, and she knows that Kara is hiding something, but she also respects Kara too much to pry.

She wants to know, though. She wants to understand it. The curiosity is eating her alive, and every time she thinks about Kara’s glare, the one that she swears was directed at her pretty much every day for the first two and a half years of college, she can’t help but wonder what it was all about.

But Lena just grins, knowing that Kara will say it if she’s comfortable to say it. She cares too much about Kara to ask her to address something that she clearly doesn’t want to talk about. “I know that now,” she says.

After a moment, she speaks, trying to lighten the mood, “Was I imagining you glaring at me, then?” Her tone is teasing, joking, but when Kara laughs, it sounds forced.

“Probably,” Kara replies. Her smile is just as forced as the previous one.

And Lena knows that she’s lying, but she forces the curiosity down, forces herself to just drop it.

Kara will say it if she wants to.

//

But Kara never says it. She never talks about it. And Lena really, really wants to know. She gets more and more curious about it every day, and she can’t keep going on like this.

She brings it up once in a while, just casually, sometimes as a joke, just to see if Kara will ever talk about it.

But every time, Kara tries to drop it. She forces a smile, a laugh, or both. And Lena just feels bad for even bringing it up to begin with.

And she really does try to drop it. She tries not to think about it, but she can’t get it out of her head.

Eventually, she decides that she should just come right out and admit it, because Kara is the greatest person she knows, and Kara deserves nothing less than honesty.

They’re in Kara’s dorm again, and Lena decides that they have to settle this once and for all. She can’t keep bringing it up and then dropping it. Because they’re just going in circles, and she needs to show Kara how big of a deal this is to her.

“Kara?”

Kara looks over at her. “Yeah?”

“I just… I want to know,” Lena says, frowning slightly. She feels guilty for bringing this up again, but Kara always tells her to speak her mind when she’s troubled, so that’s what she’s doing now. “Was I really imagining you glaring at me? I really don’t think I was, and I can’t get it out of my head. I’m sorry.”

Kara’s expression mirrors hers—she frowns slightly, and she doesn’t hesitate to speak. “Hey, you don’t have to be sorry for speaking your mind. You can tell me anything, always.” She reaches forward and covers Lena’s hand with hers, and Lena’s heart flutters at both the action and her words.

Kara is always reassuring, and understanding. But she never wants to say anything about this, and Lena just can’t take the idea of this matter staying unresolved.

“Then can you explain it to me?” Lena asks.

Kara sighs, and runs a hand through her hair. “I…” she trails off, at a loss for words. Her face is a maelstrom of emotions, and Lena can see how troubled she is.

“Kara, you can tell me anything, too, you know,” Lena says, because it’s true. She can tell Kara anything, because Kara is always willing to hear her out. And Kara can tell her anything, because Lena would never judge her.

Kara nods. “I know,” she replies.

“So?” Lena prods a little.

“Can we talk about this later? Give me half an hour,” Kara says.

And Lena doesn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. She doesn’t want Kara to force herself to say something that she doesn’t want to say. She knows that Kara will do it, because she doesn’t want Lena to drown in her own curiosity. But Lena doesn’t want her to do it just for the sake of it.

Her brow furrows at Kara’s words, and she decides to make her priorities clear. Because she prioritizes Kara over her own weird obsession with this issue. “You don’t have to say anything you feel uncomfortable saying.”

Kara smiles a little, and Lena’s heart skips a small beat. “I know. But I want to. Half an hour, okay?”

Lena studies her, eyes flickering over Kara’s face. And she sees that Kara is resolute, so she nods. “Okay.”

//

After half an hour passes, Lena glances at Kara.

And Kara looks troubled. She’s biting her lip, and she looks deep in thought. Just from the sight alone, Lena knows that she needs more time.

It’s clear that Kara wants to say it. If not, she’d be going back to reading her textbook. Instead, though, she sits in her spot, just finding the words to say.

So Lena just goes back to her work, and waits. And she can barely concentrate, but she tries her very best.

Another hour and a half passes, and then Kara says something. “So I may have taken four times the amount of time.”

Lena gives her an easy smile. The fact that Kara is even doing this is more than enough for her. And after the past two hours, she finds that she doesn’t even care anymore, because as curious as she is about this, she also cares about Kara more than anything and anyone, and she just wants Kara to be comfortable.

So if Kara isn’t comfortable saying it, then Lena won’t make her.

“Take as much time as you need, Kara. I’ll always be here for you,” Lena replies.

“I wasn’t glaring at you,” Kara starts, biting her lip. For a moment, she glances over at Lena, then looks away. And Lena has never loved anyone more than the person in front of her.

“I was glaring at the person talking to you,” Kara continues.

And Lena takes a moment to consider that. She’d never thought about it that way. That maybe Kara wasn’t glaring at her, specifically, but the person who was talking to her. And now that she thinks about it, it’s definitely possible.

“Okay,” she says, knowing that Kara has more to say.

“Because I was jealous. Because for two years, four months and twenty-two days, I wanted to talk to you. Since I first saw you on the first day of freshman year. But I could never work up the courage to go up to you, so I just looked from afar. And people were always going up to you and talking to you, and I was jealous that I couldn’t muster the courage to do the same,” Kara rambles on. Lena just looks at her. Her mind is reeling, but she’s also piecing everything together.

Her heart is pounding in her chest, but she’s also oddly calm. She can’t explain why.

“Okay,” Lena says again. Kara still has more to say. Lena can tell in the way she’s wringing her hands, and the crinkle between her brows—she’s trying to find the words to say.

Kara doesn’t meet her eyes, but she continues speaking, “And the only reason you and I are friends right now is because I had to take your order every day, and you actually talked to me. I wasn’t glaring at you. I didn’t hate you. I hated myself because I liked you but never did anything about it.”

And Lena reaches forward on instinct, hand coming up to rest on Kara’s jaw. Because Kara’s just confessed to her, has just risked everything to admit her feelings, and Lena is falling more and more in love with her by the second.

She turns Kara’s head, and beautiful blue eyes meet hers, and she can’t bring herself to look away. She can never bring herself to look away from Kara’s eyes. It’s not even the color anymore. It’s the emotion behind them that has Lena captivated.

“But you’re doing something about it now, aren’t you?” Lena asks softly.

“There is some form of attempt, yes,” Kara replies, nodding in the same exaggerated way that she does whenever she’s nervous.

Lena can’t help but laugh at that, and then her thumb is stroking the spot where Kara’s ear meets her jawline. “So you didn’t hate me?”

“The opposite, actually,” Kara says. Then she licks her lips, and Lena can’t help but follow the action with her eyes. But Kara is still looking at her, so Lena brings her gaze back up to meet Kara’s. “And since we’re laying everything on the table, I’m also in love with you, so there’s that.”

“Are we laying everything on the table?” Lena asks.

“I’m laying everything on the table,” Kara corrects.

Lena can’t help but smile. “I’ll do the same then.” And her heart is beating faster than she’s ever remembered it beating, but she moves closer, because Kara’s in love with her, and she never thought that this day would come, but it has.

So she moves closer, stopping barely an inch from Kara’s face, and she can feel Kara’s breath on her lips, see the different shades of blue in her eyes, and a few golden specks. Everything about Kara is absolutely enchanting.

“I love you too,” Lena murmurs, and she closes the gap between them, lips pressing softly to Kara’s.

But she doesn’t want to overdo it, so she pulls away. Then she feels a hand on the back of her neck, and suddenly Kara’s lips are on hers again.

She feels more than hears Kara’s contented sigh, and she’s never quite felt love like this. It’s addictive and fulfilling all at once.

Kara is addictive and fulfilling all at once.

That, and she’s so much more. Lena can’t even put it into words.


End file.
